6.8

COLOR VALUES:

RGB 157 232 159
HEX/HTML 9DE89F

CMYK 36 0 48 0

❝Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.❞

Roy t. bennett

6/8/18. Today was the LAST day of school! I wasn't too elated or too unhappy for it. It was just another "regular" school day that ended much quicker. I took my math final which I thought I did well on but it turned out to be the opposite. My Math grade didn't plummet too much though. Anyways, after school, my friends and I went to go eat lunch. Of course, it was the end of school and there were so many people at the same place my friend and I were supposed to meet at. Anyways, I saw a couple of my friends that sit with me at lunch. (The "only" friends I actually have). It sucks when there are so many people you know, but you can't make out the words and say "hi". Of course, my mind started doing that thing where I would self deprecate again and again and again. I don't really know if this (pantone) color fits the day. It was more of a bittersweet day for me. (It's funny to me how the quote is contradicting how I felt today). I feel like I'm getting depressed. I feel so, so, so hollow and empty and I feel like I'm getting even more fake to my friends. I'm so worried that I might lose them because I'm not acting "normal".

During summer break, I hope my emotions heal and I begin to think more positively. I know that I quit music in order to take video production, but now this other part of me is saying that I'll regret that decision.  I felt that playing my instrument was an outlet to stop thinking about what I was worrying about. Especially because I played the horn for so long and I love it so much. It feels like I'm losing a part of me, but at the same time I thought it was the right decision at the time. I need to make a life plan. Now I feel terrible writing this.

May tomorrow be a way better day.
It's my birthday tomorrow too.